I lifted this from Kate's blog, because I thought it was funny and showed, a bit of what, we go threw to get our voice right, if we even can. Maybe I should get some Laurie Anderson records.
You can read her blog "Kate Bornstein's Blog for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws" by clicking the link.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
It was a pretty exciting day. Linda Bedore and I went to a Senior Center here in Phoenix for a "Cinco de Mayo" party today (I hope I spelled that right.) There was a hundred or so senior citizens of many ethnic backgrounds. There was music and dancing, a lunch, and then a troop of Mexican dancers preformed for us.
What was so exciting and exhilarating was that we was treated just like any other person there. I was even asked to dance several times by this nice older Mexican American (I assume) man in his 70's. I dance horribly, but he kept coming back for more. He did figure out that he could spin me, so I got spun a lot. It was great. I am pretty sure he did not have a clue to my genetic gender. I tried to ask his name, but he did not seem to understand a word I said. I did get his picture.
We have been to this great lesbian bar twice and will probably go again tonight, called the Cash Inn Country . It is nothing like what we have in Nashville. Lots of gorgeous girls and Linda and I were the only trans folks except for a couple there for a short while on Thursday, and one full time gal on Friday, who did not believe in makeup, but was making plans to see Dr. Meltzer, who practices here in Phoenix, for her SRS.
"I find it is the best kind of therapy is talking to someone who has been there, done that."
You can read her blog at http://callan.wordpress.com/.
On 5/11/07, Callan <firstname.lastname@example.org>; wrote:
I find it is the best kind of therapy is talking
to someone who has been there, done that.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger
(God help me, I am quoting her, of all
people, but I love that quote.)
I have a problem with this quote, and not just because Exercise Therapist Schlessenger said it.
There is no doubt that the limits of someone's fears, usually indicated by the limits of their experience, are a key indicator of their value in the therapeutic process. I have often found that when I talk about business and power, therapists blanch. I remember going to my sister's acupuncturist, who fancied himself a therapist, who spent the introductory and hour and a half negating everything I said, then having the arrogance to say that his blank notepad was an achievement; the fewest notes he ever took, a blank slate to start on.
I found him intentionally blanking me.
The best kind of therapy, though, is the therapy that helps you hear and trust your own voice. It is the therapy of encouragement and possibility, not just the therapy of talking to someone, whoever that is.
The best kind of therapy is making art, whatever art means to you, potent symbols of your experience, understanding, belief and vision, that you can share with the world in a way that helps you shape it into a more potent expression. It's not just talking, it is making manifest what is inside of you in a way that makes you visible to the world and to yourself. You can no more see your desires and your essence than you can see the back of your head, so it is only expressing them that makes them visible.
This is the challenge for so many transpeople. We decide that our desires must fit into some box, and we hold tight to that box to stay in the system of desire, and that attempt to hold on, to parrot the phrases we hope work, ends up blocking our own voices.
Problem is that while we are desperately trying to hold on, the one thing we don't want to hear, don't want to face, are people who have tried that gambit and had it fail for them. Crossdressers & gays who hold on to manhood, transsexuals who demand others respect the surgically created "womanhood" that healed them, well, they all don't want to hear from those who have "been there, done that" and found it lacking.
The only thing that can change them is the need and the possibility of hearing their own voice, small & still behind the posturing of shoulda, woulda, coulda.
They need art, and people who can affirm that art.
Or at least, that's the way I see it.
From: Vickie Davis <email@example.com>;
Date: May 12, 2007 7:56 PM
Subject: Re: "best kind of therapy"
To: Callan <firstname.lastname@example.org>;