Transgender Warning: Transgender stuff to follow!

Transgender Warning: Transgender stuff to follow!
There are now hundreds of articles, neat pictures and videos here, that are mostly trans* related.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

We Belong - a high school movie project story by Joe Wilson


Namoli Brenette sang her song We Belong as the title song of this movie. So cool!

A film by Joe Wilson. We Belong

This is the story of two rural teens who had the courage to stand up to bigotry and intolerance in their schools – and the determination to tell their stories to the world.

Homophobia is one of the last “permissible” forms of prejudice. Its effects are especially acute for youth, who often suffer alone and in silence. Two thirds of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth experience harassment or violence in school, and the suicide rate for this group is four times the average.

When C.J. Bills is gay bashed in the school locker room, then arrested for disorderly conduct because he protests to an administrator about the harassment he has experienced, he decides to fight back by making a documentary about discrimination. With his family’s help, he also initiates an investigation by the state human rights commission and shames the school district into developing an anti-bullying and diversity training program.

C.J.’s documentary project also leads him to Tim Dahle, a former high school student who challenged the years of anti-gay harassment he suffered in a neighboring town. In Tim’s case, the school district that failed to protect him agreed to one of the largest sexual harassment settlements in history, sending a signal to school districts around the country that such behavior can be costly.

We Belong demonstrates that young people have the power to change their communities and the world, and that helping youth to tell their stories, in their own way and on camera, is enlightening, empowering, and effective.
Edit 12/12/2013: The video is gone from Current TV's website. Much of this video was incorporated into movie OUT in the SILENCE

Holiday Banquet 2007 Slideshow



Click here for a larger version of the sideshow.

Monday, December 03, 2007

I say you are there, Stassa!


I stumbled on a post with this picture, and I left this comment:



That picture says you will make it. I don't see a guy there at all.

I know it is hard to trust your eyes, and the good words of friends. I know what I don't say to my less then passable friends, just to not hurt their feelings. So sometimes, I can not even be trusted to say what I mean, but I don't know you. I could have just passed by and said nothing.

If that picture is really representative of how you look, and not just the best one of many taken that day, you will make it. Yes, I used to have to snap hundreds with my webcam or holding my camera at arms length, just to get one with a smile that did not look awkward. Now I only have to take a few. LOL Anyway it is always good to take lots and sort out the best for sharing, but it is easier now.

There is nothing in that picture that says "guy in a dress." I say you are there. You made it. I am happy for you, and that gives me hope!

Hugs,

Vickie


Her blog is Ye Goblyn Queenne (Good? Bad? I'm the chick with the gun. Well, I say gun...)

TG 101 at (en)Gender

Helen Boyd posted this in her blog today.

Thanks Helen!

TG 101

Posted in media, trans on December 3rd, 2007

The Gender Identity Project (GIP) Center here in NYC has created a 20-minute film called Transgender Basics. It’s not necessarily thorough - it’s only 20 minutes! - but it does cover what it needs to for an introduction to the idea. You can view it on the Center’s website.


I like this chart that was in the film.




Shawn the FTM in Chattanooga tells his story!

I have information that this is not what it seemed to be. Sad to say.

I am taking this down until it is cleared up.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Who said transgender people don't have choices?

I found a list of 81 choices for transgender people. I do a couple of these, with some but not complete success. I do 32, 42, 67, 78 and 81.


32) I can develop a close relationship with my personal computer and never spend much time outside of my house. I can stay at home and stay where I am.

42) I can get involved in a gender oriented self-help group and see what others with issues similar to mine are like. I can learn how they've handled these things.

67) I need to find more things to read, more books, web sites and articles on gender dysphoria. I need to learn more about this topic.

78) I can educate others about transgender issues and, hopefully, help generate a measure of acceptance and tolerance.

81) Although at times my gender problems seem immense I know things could be much worse. It's possible to find solutions that will work for me, but it won't happen unless I work on it. This may mean I need to talk with important people in my life about who I am, define my issues, and experiment with solutions to my problems.

I used to do 43 but the hormones made that impossible. :-)

43) I don't need a relationship with anyone. I'll live alone and cross dress and masturbate until I go blind. Then I'll go on disability and cross dress and masturbate some more.

What do you guys and gals do?

Hugs,

Vickie


Here is a partial list of ways of coping with gender discomfort, various beliefs concerning what might resolve gender identity and role conflict, and some alternatives to genital reconstruction surgery gleaned from my experience with clients working on gender issues. Some of these alternatives may work for you. Some may be more appropriate for you than others and some may work by combining them. And still others may not be appropriate at all. It's even possible that some alternatives may work in combination with surgery. Some may even seem stupid or silly. A number of the alternatives may be considered way-stations in a person's journey to a place of comfort. Expect to have strong emotional reactions to some of these possibilities.

What's important to remember is that you have a variety of choices. Be aware, some of the options you foresee no one else has envisioned. You may have found unique ways of dealing with your gender issues. Discuss your feelings and views with your therapist.

I'll present more alternatives (... how many are there?) for dealing with gender identity and role conflict in future editions of my web site.

1) I can continue to live my life in the gender role I was assigned and socialized in from infancy. With the help of a therapist I can make the best of it and learn to accept myself as I developed.

2) I can work in the gender role I was first socialized in and live my preferred gender role at other times.

3) I can be a cross dresser and view it as a hobby similar to some people who are into golf, model railroads, gardening, etc.

4) I can develop an androgynous life style that will work for me, a gender role that is a personal mix of masculine and feminine characteristics. I can give myself an androgynous first name.

5) I want to postpone this a bit. I'll start working on this gender issue tomorrow ... or maybe this weekend.

6) I can be a volunteer worker or get a part time job in my preferred gender role to test what it's like to work as a man or woman. I can build experience for the future. Maybe this will help me decide how I want to live my life.

7) My religious beliefs will help me deal with my gender issues.

8) I can learn to adjust to life as a cross dresser. Maybe I can find a woman or man who can handle this, perhaps even enjoy it, someone I can live with or marry.

9) I can take hormones forever, but not change my gender role or have surgery.

10) I can take hormones, change my gender role, but not have surgery.

11) I can change my gender role, but not take hormones or have surgery.

12) I can have sex reassignment surgery so I'll have a vagina. Then I'll be able to have sex with men, but I'll continue to live and work in my masculine gender role.

13) I can live with another gender dysphoric person and explore my attraction to TG persons. Maybe we can work things out together.

14) I can get married to a straight woman (or man) and let that take care of the problem.

15) I can get married and have children ... then I'll have to be a mother (or father) and I won't have time for gender conflict.

16) I can get divorced. That will put an end to marital conflict over my gender issues. I'll settle down then.

17) I can get used to almost anything, even an emotional straitjacket. I need to work on this a little harder.

18) I can announce to anyone who needs or wants to know that I'm a cross dresser. Let others make of it what they want. I can then live my life openly and freely as I desire. I can partake of the masculine or feminine gender roles whenever and wherever I choose.

19) I can get high on drugs or alcohol as much as possible to escape my problems.

20) I can work all the time, 25 or more hours a day, so I won't have time to think about this issue.

21) I can get out of the San Francisco Bay Area so I won't be around all these people like myself.

22) I can move to the San Francisco Bay Area so I can be around more people like myself.

23) Everything changes. This gender conflict won't last forever. I will eventually get over it.

24) I can get a job with a lot of public visibility, so changing sex won't be an option.

25) If I changed sex, I'd be really weird, a freak ... a super social reject. I won't do it because I'd end up worse off than I am now.

26) I can get involved in some kind of service delivery to the TG population. Maybe I'll do something like research or counseling with gender people. That should be enough. I won't need to go any further than that.

27) If I change my sex it will ruin the way my parents, spouse, children, and other important people in my life feel about me. They'll go crazy with grief, anger, etc. So, I'll stay the way I am. For them.

28) I can run around in circles looking for a new solution to my problem and not find anything new or anyone to ask for help. I can stay where I am and not change or grow.

29) I can find a therapist to help me go straight and turn me into "a normal person."

30) I can take testosterone and live in the masculine gender role even though I was born a female. I'll have a mastectomy, but I won't have genital surgery. I know I can have a satisfactory or better sex life with my lover or wife.

31) Changing sex will take too much work, time, and money. I can find some other solution to this problem.

32) I can develop a close relationship with my personal computer and never spend much time outside of my house. I can stay at home and stay where I am.

33) I recognize what the problem is. I know what I want. Sex change is what I need. Don't talk to me about alternatives or try to slow me down. Full speed ahead.

34) I can hang around with people who abuse me ... or perhaps find new and creative ways to abuse myself. I can be hostile, angry, and critical toward my self. I can develop skills at negative self-talk.

35) I will always be ambivalent about my gender role. It's part of who I am. I need help learning to accept that ambivalence.

36) I can be a "she-male" and find a man or a woman who wants a relationship with someone who looks and behaves like a woman, but has male genitals.

37) I can envy certain men (or women) and wish again and again I was as fortunate. God, what a pitiful case I am.

38) I can learn to be satisfied with dressing-up on Halloween and maybe New Year's Eve, too.

39) I can be a prostitute, work the streets and hotels, and make money from people who want me to turn them on sexually.

40) The medical risks are too great. Hormones and / or surgery would probably kill me.

41) I'm a carpenter (or a ...). I could never see myself working in my preferred gender role in my occupation. I could never support myself.

42) I can get involved in a gender oriented self-help group and see what others with issues similar to mine are like. I can learn how they've handled these things.

43) I don't need a relationship with anyone. I'll live alone and cross dress and masturbate until I go blind. Then I'll go on disability and cross dress and masturbate some more.

44) I feel bitter and angry because I'm transgendered. I didn't ask for this! Why did God make me this way? I hate all transgendered people (including myself)!

45) I'll consult with a physician regarding medication for depression, compulsions, and self destructive impulses and also get involved in psychotherapy.

46) I can have cosmetic surgery and / or electrolysis to help me feel better about myself.

47) I can spend lots of time blaming nature, my parents, and society for making me the way I am.

48) I can get involved in the creative arts, acting, writing, film, dance, music, comedy, painting, design, etc. That will help me be someone or something else, and escape from who I am, or maybe help me express myself.

49) I can experiment with hormone therapy under the supervision of a physician. For example, I can plan to take hormones for a year, and then discontinue them, and see how I feel. This may help me decide how I should manage my life.

50) I can distinguish and refine my masculine and feminine personae, build two separate closets of clothes, fall in love with my selves, marry my selves, work at living happily ever after, and never be seen in public together.

51) I can grow a beard, get tattooed, join the military, play ice hockey or football, become a rock climber, race motorcycles or cars ... etc.

52) I could never be satisfied being anything other than a genetic man (or woman). Gender role change, hormones and surgery won't work for me. I'm a perfectionist. That's just the way I am.

53) I can have a 1000 hours of electrolysis and cross dress until there's no more hose and I've depleted the world's supply of mascara or, I can get into leathers and chains, act super macho and aggressive and let the world know what a real man is like.

54) I'm not a very good physical prospect for sex change. My hair is terrible, or gone ... in the wrong places. I'm not good looking enough. I'm too short or tall. My nose is too big or small. My hips are too big or not big enough. I'm too muscular or not muscular enough, etc.

55) I can have sex reassignment surgery with the mistaken belief that surgery will cure my problems getting along with myself and other people, but find that those same problems still exist after surgery.

56) I can finally accept that the Real Life Experience is the only way of knowing if I can be happy in the alternative gender role. Fantasies and part-time episodes will never give me the information I need. I can always return to my original gender role if it's clear things can't be worked out.

57) I can continue to live my life as I have been doing for years, in my present gender role, and not seek help or work on changing to build a more satisfying life. I can grow progressively more unhappy, miserable, and regretful as I grow older, while clearly knowing what the problem is, but fail to take the necessary steps to change and improve my life.

58) I can move to another city, state, or country where life won't be as tough. I'll leave these gender issues behind.

59) I can work at getting to know who I am and what I want. I can learn to take good care of myself. I'm the only person I'll always be with and who I'll never lose or who will never leave me.

60) I can call Shirley MacLaine for a consultation. She's gotta know a way out of this situation.

61) I'm too old. Change isn't possible at my age.

62) I can gradually, step by step, work at making the outside of me match the inside and not do anything irreversible unless I'm sure it's right for me. I'll work with professionals in the gender area to make sure the steps I take will help and not hurt me.

63) I can sit around and not do much, wring my hands, and become an expert at feeling sorry about my life.

64) To hell with society! I'll just live my life, MY Way! I'll do whatever I want, by myself! I don't need other people! I don't want to be around them! I'll read metaphysics or study the occult, mental telepathy, and stuff.

65) I can be a "mental cross dresser" or maybe a "mental transsexual." I'll fantasize about sex change, all the time, as much as I want.

66) I can obsessively worry about my life, spend most of my time trying to figure out why I'm this way and perhaps go crazy and end-up in a ward of a state hospital!

67) I need to find more things to read, more books, web sites and articles on gender dysphoria. I need to learn more about this topic.

68) I can settle down and realize that cross dressing is my hobby, a harmless avocation. If others have problems with what I do, that's their problem, not mine. I refuse to see myself as "sick." Society is the patient and needs treatment for trying to force me and others to live rigid, restrictive gender roles.

69) I can try for a new world record in deep depression.

70) I can double-up on my efforts at hiding who I am from myself and others and in the process get in shape for trying for a new record in repression and denial.

71) I can do the Real Life Experience, as quickly as I can, then have chest or genital reconstruction surgery and be done with this problem. I'll never have any gender issues again. I'll live happily ever after.

72) I can find a therapist to help me put the feminine and masculine parts of my two selves together ... to form one whole person ... who has peace-of-mind and is happier.

73) I've got too much free time to think about these things. I need more diversions, compulsions, escapes, hobbies.

74) I can recognize that when I fully accept myself, and clearly and consistently communicate my gender, the chance that significant others will accept me will increase. In other words, I will encounter opposition from family and friends as long as I communicate ambivalence concerning who I am, and a willingness to negotiate my expression of gender with others.

75) I'm willing to wait until medical science develops penis (or vagina) transplants. Maybe some kind of gene therapy can help me. I'll bet it's not far off!

76) The woman I'm living with is a fem and she wants me because I'm a butch. It will kill her if I become a transman. It won't work.

77) Forget the Real Life Experience! I can go to Mexico (or someplace) and surgically change my chest and /or genitals for "cash on the barrel-head." But then I might become a recluse and not really develop myself personally and socially and still be upset with my life, or worse yet, I might conclude I did the wrong thing.

78) I can educate others about transgender issues and, hopefully, help generate a measure of acceptance and tolerance.

79) I can accept that gender identity is forever.

80) I can practice finding positive consequences associated with being the kind of person I am and reduce my inclination to dwell on the negative.

81) Although at times my gender problems seem immense I know things could be much worse. It's possible to find solutions that will work for me, but it won't happen unless I work on it. This may mean I need to talk with important people in my life about who I am, define my issues, and experiment with solutions to my problems.

Choices

© 2002 by Rebecca Auge, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

http://members.aol.com/rebecaauge/Conflict.html

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=======================================================

Yahoo IM: vickiecd
Email: davis.vickie@gmail.com
http://vickiedavis.blogspot.com/
Website Director of http://tvals.org/

If you are not working to integrate your life
you are working to disintegrate it.
Callan Williams

"Courage is not the absence of fear
but rather the judgment that something else
is more important than fear."
Ambrose Redmoon
(by way of Donna Rose's 2006 SCC Speech)

People will do anything, no matter how absurd,
in order to avoid facing their own soul.
Carl Gustav Jung

=======================================================

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Brandon Teena - The Documentary

This is a documentary on the life of Brandon Teena. In the GLBTQ community I see a lot of backlash WITHIN the community against Transgender folk. How can we move forward if we continue to bicker where the "T" in GLBTQ belongs? In any case a life was lost, a life was taken too soon - the life of Brandon Teena.
~MBR


Brandon Teena (part 1)


Brandon Teena (part 2)


Brandon Teena (part 3)


Brandon Teena (part 4)


Brandon Teena (part 5)


Brandon Teena (part 6)


Brandon Teena (part 7)


Brandon Teena (part 8)


Brandon Teena (part 9)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Jennifer Finney Boylan has a new website


A week ago Betty (of Helen and Betty fame) announced on their MyHusbandBetty site. I just found it today:

So, it gives me great pleasure (amidst much trepidation) to announce that Jenny Boylan's New Website can be found here:

http://www.jenniferboylan.net

Lots of good stuff including some fun readings by Jenny on YouTube videos. Good job Betty!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Warning Political Stuff to Follow!

Randi Rhodes' "We Believe" speech in Michigan, November 11 2007.



Randi Rhodes (of Air America) addressed The 50th Anniversary party of PEACE ACTION of Michigan, November 11 2007. Her speech "WE BELIEVE" was received with standing ovation after standing ovation and her thoughts are shared through out the peace now & forever community. I am very proud & honored to share her thoughts & words with the "thinking & principled" of the world.


I love her more!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Mara Keisling on C-SPAN



NCTE Executive Director on C-SPAN

*******************************

Last Saturday, November 10, NCTE Executive Director Mara Keisling appeared on C-SPAN's Washington Journal to discuss the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). The forty-five minute show is now available on C-SPAN's website for viewing. It appears that this link may be available for only another week or so.


The National Center for Transgender Equality is a national social justice organization devoted to ending discrimination and violence against transgender people through education and advocacy on national issues of importance to transgender people. The National Center for Transgender Equality is a 501(c)3 organization. For more information, please visit www.nctequality.org.



How to walk like a lady


Move the top slider to change the way she walks. Lots to learn here! It is a whole class in feminine movement in one movie.

Rev. Drew Phoenix on Transgender Day of Remembrance

Rev. Drew Phoenix is the transgender pastor St. John’s United Methodist Church in Baltimore, MD


He was allowed to keep his job!

Rev. Erin Swenson on Transgender Day of Remembrance

Rev. Erin Swenson is a transgender Presbyterian pastor.


Good job Rev. Swenson!

I found her story here! It made me cry.

It starts with:

The Rev. Erin Swenson's heart thumped wildly. She was so close to panic that her fingertips tingled. The crowd inside Shallowford Presbyterian Church in Atlanta stared at her in disbelief. Swenson, an ordained minister and father of two daughters, had just walked to the front of the church in a green dress, heels and an eggshell-white blouse. She was going to speak publicly for the first time about a 42-year-old secret that had driven her at times to thoughts of suicide.

Swenson told the hushed crowd that she was a woman born in a man's body. Now that she had taken steps to correct that, she made an unprecedented request before the assembly of Presbyterian church leaders: Allow her to retain her ordination as a minister, even though she had switched genders.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Khadijah Farmer Lawsuit from The TransGriot

Monica Roberts just posted this at The TransGriot today. I hope she wins big!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Khadijah Farmer Lawsuit


TransGriot Note: Here's an example of what I and Lambda Legal have been talking about in terms of the transgender-free ENDA the House just passed NOT covering everyone in the GLB_t community.

Check out this New York Times article about Khadijah Farmer and her lawsuit against a New York City restaurant for throwing her out of the women's restroom hours after the NY Gay pride parade because of the bouncer's PERCEPTION that she was a man.


Sexual Stererotypes, Civl Rights, and A Suit About Both

By JENNIFER 8. LEE
Published: October 10, 2007
Women have been thrown out of men's bathrooms, men who identify as women have been thrown out of women's bathrooms and, of course, men have been known to get into trouble in men's rooms. But women minding their own business inside women's rooms have rarely been an issue, until now.

Yesterday, a New York woman filed suit against a West Village restaurant for being thrown out of a women's room there by a bouncer who, she said, did not care she was really female.

The woman, Khadijah Farmer, 28, who lives in Hell's Kitchen, said in an interview that she was at the Caliente Cab Company restaurant on Seventh Avenue with her companion and a friend after the gay pride parade on June 24 when she left the table to go to the women's room. While she was there, a male bouncer burst in.

"He began pounding on the stall door saying someone had complained that there was a man inside the women's bathroom, that I had to leave the bathroom and the restaurant," Ms. Farmer said. "Inside the stall door, I could see him. That horrified me, and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I said to him, 'I'm a female, and I'm supposed to be in here.'

"After I came out of the bathroom stall, I attempted to show him my ID to show him that I was in the right place, and he just refused to look at my identification. His exact words were, 'Your ID is neither here nor there.'"

Ms. Farmer said she often is mistaken for a man, but her New York State nondriver photo identification card clearly lists her as female.

She said the bouncer followed her up the stairs and back to the table, asked her party to pay for the appetizers they had eaten and made them leave the restaurant.

Telephone calls to the management at Caliente Cab Company were not returned yesterday. The bouncer was not named as a defendant in the lawsuit.

The Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund filed the lawsuit on behalf of Ms. Farmer in State Supreme Court in Manhattan. It accuses the restaurant of discriminating against Ms. Farmer because her appearance did not comply with society's norms concerning gender identity.

A 2002 amendment to the city's human rights law protects the rights of city residents whose gender expression is different from their sex at birth. The state's civil rights law does not include a similar protection. But the defense fund argues that it should be interpreted as protecting New Yorkers against sexual stereotyping, in which people are expected to conform to gender-appropriate behavior.


Although Ms. Farmer is not transgender, the legal defense group considered the suit to be a strategically important case with the potential to set a precedent, said Michael D. Silverman, the organization's executive director and general counsel. The lawsuit's claims are being made under both city and state law.

The fact that the bouncer refused to look at Ms. Farmer's identification card before ejecting her showed that he was judging her simply by how she looked, Mr. Silverman said.

Sexual stereotyping, he said, was expanded as a legal concept under a 1989 decision by the United States Supreme Court. In that case, Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins, the court found, 6 to 3, that a woman had failed to make partner at the accounting firm Price Waterhouse in part because she was considered too "macho." The court ruled that male supervisors discriminated against her on the basis of stereotyped notions of appropriate female appearance and behavior.

"We're asking the court to say that sex stereotyping by public accommodation is just as harmful when practiced by a public accommodation like a restaurant as it is when it is practiced by an employer," Mr. Silverman said. "If Khadijah were wearing pearls and white gloves, would the bouncer have treated her like that?"

Kenji Yoshino, a Yale Law School professor who studies gender and sexuality under the law, said Ms. Farmer's claims were much stronger under the city law. "The New York City statute is so much more directly on point."

Ms. Farmer said she is mistaken for a man on a daily basis — especially in bathrooms and locker rooms, where she often gets funny looks. "I have a script that is almost routine," she said. "I say, 'I am a woman, and I'm supposed to be here.'"

"Usually," she added, "they are embarrassed."

 

--

=======================================================

Yahoo IM: vickiecd
Email: davis.vickie@gmail.com
http://vickiedavis.blogspot.com/
Website Director of http://tvals.org/

If you are not working to integrate your life
you are working to disintegrate it.
       Callan Williams

"Courage is not the absence of fear
but rather the judgment that something else
is more important than fear."
       Ambrose Redmoon
      (by way of Donna Rose's 2006 SCC Speech)

=======================================================

Joe My God winner of the Best LGBT Blog for 2007.

Two random quotes from the blog Joe My God, winner of the Best LGBT Blog for 2007.

 
Charlie Crist - "Marriage is a sacred relationship. Like I had, before I got divorced."


Dan Savage - "Have you gotten a good look at Heather Poe, Mary Cheney's partner of 15 years? My son has two fathers, but Heather Poe's left labial lip is butcher than both of us put together."


Just too funny!

Vickie

--

=======================================================

Yahoo IM: vickiecd
Email: davis.vickie@gmail.com
http://vickiedavis.blogspot.com/
Website Director of http://tvals.org/

If you are not working to integrate your life
you are working to disintegrate it.
       Callan Williams

"Courage is not the absence of fear
but rather the judgment that something else
is more important than fear."
       Ambrose Redmoon
      (by way of Donna Rose's 2006 SCC Speech)

=======================================================

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Bono, Edge & Brian Eno - One


I love this song! Love it! Love it! Love it!

It always makes me tear up, if not cry. It is probably the hormones, but I don't care, I love it!

Until today I did not understand the words. Today I searched and found these lyrics and read them again. I get it this time. The last time I read them it must have been a bad transcription. It is about a relationship that has gone bad. Been there, got the scars.

Artist: Bono
Song: One

Is it getting better, or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you, now you got someone to blame?
You say one love, one life, when it's one need in the night.
One love, we get to share it
Leaves you baby if you don't care for it.

Did I disappoint you or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love and you want me to go without.
Well, it's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light.
We're one, but we're not the same.
We get to carry each other, carry each other... one

Have you come here for forgiveness,
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much, more than a lot
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got.
We're one, but we're not the same.
Well, we hurt each other, then we do it again.

You say love is a temple, love a higher law
Love is a temple, love the higher law.
You ask me to enter, but then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on to what you got, when all you got is hurt.

One love, one blood, one life, you got to do what you should.
One life with each other: sisters, brothers.
One life, but we're not the same.
We get to carry each other, carry each other.
One, one.

http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/b/bono17996/one499483.html

One Response to “Dyke”

I just made this comment to Callan Williams post in her blog about being a femme trans-woman.


One Response to “Dyke”

  1. Vickie Davis Says:

    “Double Queer,” what an awful thought! But I guess that describes me too. Hot guys never “make me melt,” although it does for several of my trans friends. I guess that does give them more to choose from out there.

    I had been wondering for a while now, if I was to attempt to attract a lesbian, which I am ready to try to do, do I present as the femme or the butch? or does it matter? I don’t have either an answer or a prospect yet. I am every bit at a loss, much the same way I was as a guy. So you know I did not go out much. I had to be asked out when I presented as a guy, so I guess that makes me the femme. Now what do I do?


    Hugs,


    Vickie



Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Monday, October 29, 2007

Rep. Anthony Weiner - Employment Non Discrimination Act


I found this on Donna Rose's blog and I just had to share it too.

The whole LGBT community should see this! Especially the HRC and Barny Frank. I am proud of Rep. Anthony Weiner!!

Donna Rose - Does Videos


Donna is giving a heart felt description of her transition.


My goodness this was recorded yesterday (I bet she got the day right even tho she got the date wrong. LOL.)

She is talking about her "TransLives Project: Our Stories, Our Selves" project. I wish I had her nerve to be as open as she is. She open and Donna to the whole world. I wish I had that kind of courage.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

'Gay' baby triggers row.



ninemsn.au - Posters of a rosy, puffy cheeked newborn baby have provoked controversy in Italy because the infant is shown wearing a wristband name-tag with the word "homosexual" written on it.

The photograph of the baby is part of a anti-discrimination campaign launched by Tuscany's regional government and is accompanied by the slogan: "Sexual orientation is not a choice."

"Homosexuality is not a vice and hence should not be condemned nor marginalised, or worse still persecuted," the Tuscany region's civil rights councillor Agostino Fragai told Milan-daily Corriere della Sera in a interview published.

Thousands of copies of the poster have been printed, and will go up on city walls and public offices around Tuscany with the sponsorship of Italy's centre-left government's Equal Opportunities Ministry.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Transgender Children-Out Of The Shadows


I saw Jenn Burleton at SCC this year and was very impressed with he dedication and her work.

In it's original release, this film by Jenn Burleton was viewed more than 300,000 times and translated into several languages. This Director's Cut version includes additional material more in line with the filmmaker's original vision.

It is a timely film about an issue facing children and youth that is far too often overlooked or sensationalized for political reasons.

If you support this film and the children and families it represents, then please consider supporting the organization that is working on behalf of these kids, TransActive Education & Advocacy.


Here is her almost unused blog transactive.blogspot.com/ Hopefully it will get better.

Here is another of her blogs with her SCC speech. transadvocate.com/transjennpdx Cool!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Donna Rose's
"The TranSelf Project:
Our Lives, Our Selves"

Donna wants us to share our stories. Read about it below.

I do want to share a couple of things today. One, I think, is particularly important.


As a follow-up to my discussion yesterday about the need to education others about ourselves and how critical that effort will be on an ongoing basis I'm planning to begin something I'm calling it "The TranSelf Project: Our Lives, Our Selves" (or TLP, for those of us who are techie like me need acronyms). I am inviting people from around the country to provide video of themselves and the people in their lives, telling their story. Tell me how you feel, what you think, how you're doing. Share your struggle. What have you lost, what has disappointed you most, what has hurt you? On the other hand share what you've gained, your perspective on yourself and your gender. All in all, this is free form so there is no fixed format. There is no "right" way to do this. Take all the time you need. Share your story, your life, the people in your world, and how you're feeling.


HRC has launched a similar effort as part of their "Coming Out Project". But as long as we allow others to tell our stories we find ourselves dependent, and the fact of the matter is that nobody can tell our stories better than we can. We need to own that, and that process starts now. I know a doctor who lives in North Carolina whose wife has stayed with her during transition, who was forced to leave her church, who was forced out of the medical practice that she helped to establish only to move across town and start all over again. I know someone in Dallas who was outed by a friend at work and showed up the next day and was told that she was no longer welcome at the company, despite a 12-year history of excellence there. I know someone in Phoenix who struggled with her gender issues but it wasn't until she was arrested for DUI, sitting in the Tent City jail, that she realized what she had to do. I know of people who are the children of a trans parent who are proud and supportive. I know of spouses who have struggled to accept something they can't begin to understand, and who come to a sense of peace. We need to tell these stories. We need to share them with each other, and with the world.


Watch the HRC video outlining what they're looking for (see it here, note: there isn't a single transgender face there). That's what we're looking for, too. Personal stories. Not necessarily simply of coming out, but of anything you want to share. Your life. Your family. Your job. Your relationships. Your spirituality. Your perspective. Your dreams and your fears. We want whatever you can share. If you go to that YouTube page and click on any of the Video Responses below it you'll see what people are doing. One is here.


Take the video. Use a webcam if that's all you have. You can buy a neat little camera that records video meant for uploading to the web (see one here) for less than $100. Or, use a regular video camera if you've got one. Video quality isn't necessarily important but audio quality makes a huge difference. Be creative. I'll edit them if necessary so don't worry too much about that.


I'm setting up a couple of different ways to get the videos to me. I'll be setting up an ftp site for those who know how that works. Also, I'll be providing a mailing address if you want to burn your video to a CD or send the raw video from your camera. Or, upload it yourself onto YouTube or some other video site and send me the link so I can post it. Don't trash people. Don't be disrespectful of others. But most importantly, be honest.


Our Lives, Our Selves. It will be as successful (or not) as the videos that you provide. I'll provide the hosting. I'll provide the effort to get the videos ready, and to upload them. All you need to do is to share. It's not that sharing our stories makes a big difference - it makes all the difference. I'll have more detail on this as it becomes real, but the time to start thinking about it and working on it is now.


Friday, October 12, 2007

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Tvals is on the ENDA list!

Roxie and I with the prodding of Katie Evens and the help of Fredrikka and Marisa, got the Tvals on the list. Thank you all!
Hugs,

Vickie


United opposition to sexual-orientation-only
nondiscrimination legislation

Recent Signatories, Oct. 16

The United Church of Christ Coalition for LGBT Concerns
Knox Boyz of East Tennessee
Tennessee Chapter of Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA)
Alternative Counseling Center
TransMasculine Community Network
Pride At Work, Martin Luther King County WA Chapter
University of Minnesota Transgender Commission
American Veterans For Equal Rights
Pride Foundation
The National Lawyers Guild (NLG)
The Tennessee Vals
Santa Cruz County Task Force for LGBTIQ Youth (Santa Cruz, CA)
National Sexuality Resource Center

See this link for the whole list:

www.thetaskforce.org

The Right Brain vs Left Brain test

Thanks Helen Boyd for this link. She says she can control which way the girl spins. I only see clockwise.

Hugs,

Vickie

The Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.



Dancer test
LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe
RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking


Sunday, September 30, 2007

Transgender Wellness Benefits

I found a reference to this information on Donna Rose's Blog.

Oh my god! It says I am covered. I had heard that it was but had never seen it in print. Do I have the nerve to get it all done? I guess I am using 3 of those 5, already. It does not mention SRS/GRS, but I had heard it did.

The following 78 employers rated in the 2008 Corporate Equality Index indicated “Benefit offered, transgender treatment covered,” meaning treatment is not excluded for medically necessary treatment related to gender dysphoria or gender reassignment for each of the five categories of treatment.

  1. Counseling by a mental health professional (e.g.: gender dysphoria diagnosis)
  2. Pharmacy benefits (e.g.: hormone therapy)
  3. Medical visits (e.g.: to monitor the effects of hormone therapy and associated lab procedures)
  4. Medically necessary surgical procedures (e.g.: hysterectomy, as part of gender-reassignment)
  5. Short-term leave for surgical procedures
• AAA Northern California, Nevada and Utah
• Adobe Systems Inc.
• Advanced Micro Devices Inc.
• Alcatel-Lucent
• American Express Co.
• Ameriprise Financial Inc.
• AmTrust Bank
• AT&T Inc.
• Avaya Inc.
• Avon Products Inc.
• Bank of America Corp.
• Brinker International Inc.
• Campbell Soup Co.
• Chrysler LLC
• CIGNA Corp.
• Countrywide Financial Corp.
• Dean Foods Co.
• Deloitte & Touche USA LLP
• Delta Air Lines Inc.
• Deutsche Bank
• DuPont (E.I. du Pont de Nemours)
• Eastman Kodak Co.
• Enterprise Rent-A-Car Co.
• Ernst & Young LLP
• Exelon Corp.
• Faegre & Benson
• Foley & Lardner LLP
• Genentech Inc.
General Motors Corp.
• Goldman Sachs Group Inc., The
• Gordon & Rees
• Guidant Corp.
• Hallmark Cards Inc.
• HSBC North America Holdings Inc.
• Imation Corp.
• International Business Machines Corp. (IBM)
• John Hancock Financial Services Inc.
• Johnson & Johnson
• Katten Muchin Zavis
• Keyspan Corp
• Kimpton Hotel & Restaurant Group Inc.
• Kirkland & Ellis
• KPMG LLP
• Kraft Foods Inc.
• Land O'Lakes
• LaSalle Bank Corp.
• Latham & Watkins LLP
• Lehman Brothers Holdings
• Lexmark International Inc.
• Marriott International Inc.
• McGraw-Hill Companies Inc., The
• Medtronic Inc.
• Microsoft Corp.
• Morrison & Foerster LLP
• Nokia
• Northern Trust Corp.
• PG&E Corp.
• Pitney Bowes Inc.
• Progressive Corp., The
• Proskauer Rose LLP
• Recreational Equipment Inc.
• Replacements Ltd.
• Rite Aid Corp.
• Schering-Plough Corp.
• Sonnenschein, Nath & Rosenthal
• Sprint Nextel Corp
• Starcom MediaVest Group
• Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide
• State Farm Group
• Steptoe & Johnson
• Visteon Corp.
• Wachovia Corp.
• Walt Disney Co.
• Whirlpool Corp.
• Wildman Harrold Allen & Dixon
• Williams Companies Inc.
• Wyndham Worldwide Corp.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The 237 reasons to have sex

I heard about this on Oprah.

List of 237 reasons that motivate people to have sex

1. I was "in the heat of the moment."
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like "the thing to do."
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from friends.
9. It's exciting, adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to try to get a better mate than my current mate.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you're supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was "horny."
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to "go all the way" than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was "committed."
39. I was competing with someone else to "get the person."
40. I wanted to "gain control" of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress
47. I didn't know how to say "no."
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50. My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It's fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone (i.e., revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadn't had sex for a while.
60. The person was "available."
61. I didn't want to "lose" the person.
62. I thought it would help "trap" a new partner.
63. I wanted to capture someone else's mate.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to "possess" the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself.
80. I didn't want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to "get over" an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a "deeper" level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a "spiritual" experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship "routine."
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got "carried away."
97. I needed another "notch on my belt."
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned (e.g., on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It's considered "taboo" by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too "hot" (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to "get sex out of my system" so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner's desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said "no."
113. The other person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about herself/himself.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my partner, so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I'm addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is boring, so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the "rebound" from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. It was the next step in the relationship.
144. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
145. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
146. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
147. I wanted to keep warm.
148. I wanted to punish myself.
149. I wanted to break up a rival's relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
150. I wanted to stop my partners' nagging.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another's relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say "no" due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. It is my genetic imperative.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work - sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say "I've missed you."
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say "I'm sorry."
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say "Thank You."
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say "goodbye."
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve "blue balls."
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person's physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out to an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person's friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of him/her.
227. I knew the person was usually "out of my league."
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I/she was ovulating.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about his/her problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner's spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.


University of Texas study

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

TransYouth Family Advocates



Jenn Burleton was a keynote SoCo speaker at SCC and I was impressed.

Helen Boyd has the text of her speech on her site: (EN)GENDER.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Transgender singer songwriter Namoli Brenette in Nashville tonight!




Namoli Brenette was at the SingOut Benefit for Nashville's OutCentral (Nashville's first GLBTQIF Cultural Center.) I really enjoyed the show and especially her part. I would not have ever guessed she was "transgendered," if she had not said so. Katie was out for a beer or a cigarette or something, when Namoli told us. When Katie returned, I told her, and she did not believe me.

When I got home I Googled her and found she had been on GenderTalk September 22, 2003 (4 years ago today,) and they played her music again in December 1, 2003.

I purchased 3 of her CDs at the show. They are on my iPod already!

One thing I did notice was that she had the same sad eyes, that I had seen in so many of the trans-men at SCC. I wonder why?

Visit Namoli’s website at www.NamoliBrennet.com and her MySpace page www.MySpace.com/BamoliBrennet Her website plays an assortment of her music very nicely. Well done!

They played the song Boy in a Dress on Gendertalk and I found these word for the song on her web site. I read them and almost immediately burst into tears. Powerful song, but the CD is no longer available, but I downloaded the song from iTunes. I'll probably get the rest of the songs tomorrow. :)


Boy in a Dress

Boy in a Dress

When I was a little girl
free as a bird
painting my world
I filled it with colors like birthday balloons

When I was seven years old
out on the road
I once was called - a girl
“you can tell by the way that she throws”

When I was only nine
doing just fine
stay in the lines
fill in the dots with the picture you see
but I never saw no picture like me

When I was only thirteen
I looked at me
I could have seen
a girl or a boy in a dress or a girl
boy in a dress or a girl or a boy in a dress


What I call hard
seems so damn easy for everybody else


Fifteen became twenty-one
man, I was gone
but I had some fun
when I was not passed out on somebody’s lawn
Oh no...

Twenty-one turned twenty-five
turned twenty-nine
bided my time
trying to hide from the things I could feel
hide from the things I could feel
I could hide


What I call hard
seems so damn easy for everybody else

When I was just thirty-three
I looked at me
I could have seen
a girl or a boy in a dress, or a girl
boy in a dress or a girl or a boy in a dress
or a girl, or a boy in a dress
or a girl.


Well done girl! You are there, and you rock! I am so proud of you! Say "Hi," to Holly for me.

www.namolibrennet.com

Thursday, September 20, 2007

You're invited to join my 2007 SCC group room!


You're invited to join my group room!
 
Vickie's group room
Southern Comfort 2007

I created a room where we can share photos and projects! We can also write messages to the group, order prints and gifts of each others' photos and more.

Address: http://photos.walmart.com/groups/southerncomfort2007



 Join Group Room
 
Want more friends to join? forward this email to them
Walmart.com Home | My Photo Center Account | Photo Center Help | Photo Center Cart

If the 'Join Group Room' button above does not work, copy and paste the link below into your browser
http://photos.walmart.com/groups/southerncomfort2007

Vickie at "Hot or Not" new picture today.


I have a new high score after just a few hours.

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